Special Days & Every Day

Every day without your child is hard. On certain special days—like your child’s anniversary, birthday, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day—those feelings may be even more intense, and you might feel your child’s absence even more. You might have mixed emotions as the day approaches, perhaps wanting to avoid it or wanting to spend the day remembering.  

How you spend these special days is up to you. Some families create rituals, have parties or spend time with family and friends remembering their child. Other parents prefer to spend the day in solitude or quiet reflection, perhaps doing something private to feel connected to their child. Family members might feel differently about how to spend the day; remember that choosing or not choosing to do something does not mean that your love and grief are any more or less than anyone else’s. There is no right or wrong way to cope with the emotions that a special day brings. 

Many families have shared that anticipating a special day can be as difficult as the day itself. We encourage you to give thoughtful reflection to what you want for the day… but also to be very open to changing your mind! You won’t know what you feel until you feel it. You might consider including your children and loved ones in making a plan for the day, which may help relieve some of the anxiety and uncertainty and can help guide others in what you need.